My Dad is Awesome.

So, my dad and I have our moments. Moments that truly make me question the validity of my lineage and my capacity for love. But, today my father is my hero.

I was just driving home from the car place with my dad in tow after getting a new...umm...cable...wire...electricity thingy when I saw them.

Two of the most sad, scared, pathetic black orbs I've ever seen.  Cowering against a palm tree in the median of one of Ormond's main drags- Nova Road- was a newborn baby raccoon. It was a busy street tonight, with many people whizzing by on their way home, on their phones, tunnel vision--not paying attention.

But not me.

This tiny fur baby whimpered at me through my 45 MPH window and in that split second of eye-to-eye connection, my heart sank.

Oh, hell.

I swerved my car around a No U-Turn and circled back around like the crazy animal lady that I am. Putting my car in park next to the median, I flicked on my emergency lights and rolled down my window. The little raccoon reached out its freakily human-like hand as if it were a tiny passenger on a sinking ship. Someone blared their horn as they raced by and the fuzzy coon startled and clutched onto the palm tree.

Alone. Terrified.

So freaking furry I can barely stand it.

Like this but about half its size and 3x's fluffier

My heart absolutely broke. But what to do?

And then--my knight in shining Acura pulled up behind me, forcing many Ormondites to slam on their brakes and swerve around him.

My dad.

Thinking my car had broken down, he gets out and strides up to my car. People are really honking now due to the fact that my dad has not yet figured out how to turn on his emergency lights and is just parked in the middle of a major roadway.

I point out the ball of fur with scared, sad orbs and instead of my dad telling me that I'm being ridiculous, he devises a rescue plan.

(Cars still swerving. Cars jamming behind us. A honk now and then.)

During the planning phase, a small shady motel across the street has patrons out front playing a rousing game of shuffleboard.

Soon, a small crowd of white hairs are standing around the palm and baby raccoon in the middle of the road. A husky masculine woman warns us of the possibility of rabies. Her small, cloudy-eyed friend comes up really close to my car and conspiratorially says, "Ya know young lady, it could have rabies. And then you may get rabies. And then your kids will get rabies."

Uh huh. I think you may be talking about HIV...I slowly roll my window back up.

The white hairs return to their shuffleboard across the street, while watching us through cautious, sideways eyes.

My dad and I decide to move our cars to Buttleman's parking lot right off the street.

Safety, peace and serenity is restored to the small suburbanite Ormond Beach area.

The one thing about my dad that used to embarrass the heck out of me as a kid (and sometimes still does) is that he has no shame. The normal part of people's brains that say, "Dear God, that was really embarrassing/awkward" does not exist with my dad.

Which is why you could find him at 6:30 this evening standing on a median in the middle of a busy road trying to coax a baby raccoon into a cardboard box borrowed from a guy that works at Buttleman's.

I admit it, I was hiding from embarrassment in my car.

Kind of like I did my entire childhood...

Miraculously, my dad effortlessly lured the baby coon into the box and closed the lid. During all of this, another crazy animal lady in a Prius had been waiting with open arms to take the animal to safety.

Bye bye! Please stay far away from our trash cans!

So, it was an excellent day and I'm so thankful to have my amazing, raccoon-rescuing father.

There is truly no one else like you...

 And please, note the shuffleboard game in the background...it's never a dull day in beautiful Ormond Beach!

Send Help.

Do you ever get the feeling like you just swallowed a brick?

And it just keeps rolling around in your stomach and whenever you think of something else you have to do or someone else you have to call or anything else even remotely stressful, your stomach clenches around the brick and it makes your heart beat really fast and your throat close up?

No? Just me?

Oh, it's not a brick, I just have the beginnings of an ulcer? Or a fledgling panic attack?

Well today I totally played hooky from OR clinicals. I worked late last night at the hospital and when my alarm went off at 4:45 this morning I remember peeling my eyelids open and squinting at my blinking obnoxious phone. My finger hovered over the yellow "Zzz" button for about half a breath until its devilish side took over and quickly swiped the big red "X" button. A mental health day! my finger boldly declared. The decision was bad, but I eagerly went with it. I burrowed my head under my pile of pillows and pulled the covers up. 

Silence. 

Darkness.

Bliss. 

I woke back up around 7:30 and I have to tell you, there's something so beautiful and sacred about waking up on Wednesday when it's bright out and birds are chirping and I'm supposed to be somewhere else. 

However, it's extremely disconcerting and most of myself feels guilty and paranoid. (Oh God, who realized I wasn't at morning meeting? What if my teacher calls? What if I miss a really big case? What if I get kicked out of the program?!) 

But, it's weird because the other (mentally/physically exhausted) part of me feels like...well, it's kind of hard to articulate it, but it feels kind of like, 

"F**k it." 

So I anxiously lounged around in my scrubs for 2 hours this morning. I don't know how many other people can be anxious whilst lounging, but I was and I do it well.

Me at 7:45 am: wrinkly scrubs, playing FreeCell, eating grapes, furiously contemplating life and my next move. 

So, after furious contemplation/ a 5-game losing streak, I called Nova to try and register for my classes this Fall. 

Oh, I've decided to become a doctor. I'm extremely excited and nervous and happy. And stressed. And overwhelmed.

And I think Kevin would break up with me if I changed my career plans again, so this is it! Erin's journey to the O.R. just became much longer.

Send help.

Anyway, I have to take Organic Chem I and II and Physics II before I apply next year...

Bahahahah the thought of these classes makes me crack up. It's all just so ridiculous that I, Erin Barshay, plan on taking (and doing well in) these classes. 

Take THAT, Mr. Myers, my 8th grade algebra teacher who didn't think I could pass! I'll show you. Hmph.

Square root of -1 anyone? 

Anyway, my life is currently very convoluted and confusing. It's like all of the things I need to accomplish are puzzle pieces and I'm trying to fit them all together. While juggling 52 hours in clinicals or work at the hospital a week. And there's a 2-year-old that keeps grabbing the pieces off the table and stuffing them into his mouth so that I can't find/ recognize them anymore. 

Wahhhh

Ok, enough complaining! I love being busy! I love having a plan! I love being in the hospital! I love chem! (Err...maybe not love.)

But, ya, my plan is to move with Kevin to Stuart this August, take my last pre-reqs Fall/Spring in Fort Lauderdale and apply for med school June of next year. But, as usual, there are many hurdles to jump over and this video totally captures how I feel right now...

(I feel really bad for laughing...but it never gets old.)

So, my mental health day wasn't all that relaxing...actually I just laid on the couch in the fetal position with the phone up to my ear while I was on hold with Nova (crying) for most of it...and I didn't really accomplish anything...and I have to work tomorrow night and...um...hmm.

Well, it's Burrito Thursday at the hospital cafeteria tomorrow! There! That's something positive to end on.   Life is Good.